A Tricolour of Old McDonald
Sits in pasture of grasses green
Where bleaching drawers
flap white and clean, and down
Below, a blooming undulation
of dandelion and hawkweed -
Yellow tongues of fire and gold.
One harmless infamous old farmer
Proceeds to give yer wan,
tasty artless turned-up-start
Visitor, to his corrugated shed,
The full monty garden tour
where all is told and all made new.
Says he to her, in a slow low tone:
Please realise how much
Such vegetables do root,
dig for you and me
Unsentimentally
You see here, It eyes us up,
this new world tattie
Recently shifted, seismically
Shoots straight up,
From hip, a pea,
bullseye 3 months go by
readymeal in a jiffy -
Just fork in muck
with welly n wait.
Unlike other newcomers
reluctant to fare here:
chillis turn sickly
Tucked in folds between hills,
Tenuous tomatoes
Chutneybrown bound,
Golden quinoa spills mildewed
straight down, seed
Feed, voles into owls.
But elsewhere on ground,
Crisp kale cracking a first -
now we’re talking a nutrition burst!
Rhubarb robust, forced to disco reel
to chink of light in spandex pink - a
Sweet savoury deal.
Then Inadvertently
The odd Spade fatality:
Halved Earth worm -
But then worse
To vertebrate sensibility-
A soft green frog !
heart jumps, I cry, momentarily
Such rough cruelty
for fellow slow starter
deep in slumber a
Sandwich of grey sodden turf
Of tough glacial tilth
Requiring brute force
Below velvet veneer
of humousy topping
laced last year
mulch compost n chopping-
On the rocks -
whether many or few,
abundance or lack -
tracing the speed
of an old river track,
a long way back,
That climate of change ,
Solid to melted, a
Deposition neatly
expressed in: my
Digometer foot n
sweated forehead.
Pink fur apples n cavalo Nero
Are northern luxuries of
least pain to grow here.
medley of Carrots
once multi-colour
Became patriotic
propaganda,
Rendered into a
deep shade of yellow
King William of Orange
Given Dutch courage
to conquer, vegetable gain,
A protest to pope,
But they end up friends
And common enemy France-
Realpolitik at a glance -
Seen in this tap root of vitamin
A
fine romance!
She engages but
ducks his flowery descriptions
Plucks up her confidence so
Somewhat thoughtless, impatient
retorts:
But Amn’t I the nice
But most depraved one
Teased for not being
seen as racing green
in a jet set crew.
But it will be proved
i ‘ve been mocked
In my big chin ruff,
Beneath the powdered wig,
Cavaliering .
The impact of my former carbon
hoof print has been vast!
But wait till you hop onboard
Great CO2 offset capturing craft,
Sail Sustainably full mast
self-appointed mean Machine,
An ecoheroqueen,
By Billy- Jo - I am,
Keen-2-be seen
in top compan-ee-i-o
On every man’s touch
sillycon couch screen
I am the one n only,
Bill- I - am
returning to haunt you
from yon sixteen hundreds
admonish steer you off your
staple daily porridge,
And I’ll keep on headline grabbing till
The PR pheasant PluckeR comes
merchandising and conniving
Smoking mirrors, Vacant vain
Flaunting my stallion style
of shiny glossy mane, so
Mark my words, you will
pay for any eyesight
deficiency-i-io
by gad you shall be mad
take sides, be uncouth,
Or you will have it,
you organic soiled old carrot, so
Believe in my eternal youth -
Though I am all of 39!
But you listen up, sister,
Returns big old McYD,
We all dislike each being
Anything but free
and incapabl-i-o
Of keeping mum n tilling soil
N cutting down on oil
In all its complicated guises
engulfed in contrafoil
What sin to dilly dally
Un gaspillage, un temps perdu
All distraction from Impending
Disaster-i-o, ecollapse -i-o
providing yawning
inconsequentials
Drinking up your
Mediocre high-low-brow
Showee-o of you-i-o
And as the lights do go out-i-o
of what remaining biodiversity-i-o
Held tightly by their throats-i-o
Those fine farms do have
home grown animosities,
jealousies, even murder,
Insecticides give no apologies
To former fertile fields
Nor to lost moths nor faded flowers -
They are the lovers
spurned, ignored and rotted
Yes, to these we
Sure do by Jove each
Ee-i-ee -i-owe
them
Our own fed up, bored
Device addicted
life-ee-i-ee-oooo!